Or get an agriturismo in Tuscany. I’m really not that picky about where my amazing old farmhouse in Italy is. And the 5 dogs I plan to get won’t care, either.

“Agriturismo” sounds super sexy and cool, and that’s because it’s an Italian word, and everything in Italian sounds sexy and cool. For example, which of these translations for “throw up” is German and which is Italian?  “Vomitare” and “sich übergeben”?

Anyway, agriturismo is a combo of the Italian words for agriculture and tourism, and it’s kinda like a bed and breakfast. Starting in the 1950s, smalls scale farming started to become unprofitable and many farmers abandoned their farms and farmhouses. There are actually still so many gorgeous ones around, like this one below that we hiked to in Tuscany. I think Oprah needs to film a special show of her favorite things and yell, “You get a farmhouse! And you get a farmhouse! And you!”

In an effort to protect their cultural and farming heritage and save these beautiful homes, a 1985 law established the “agriturismo,” allowing farmers to keep their farm designation but take on guests for extra income. The requirement is that farm income has to be greater than tourism income. Some agriturismos are full-fledged farms with animals, while others produce farm products like cheese, lavender, and honey. They often come with breakfast and the option of a great home-cooked dinner, and may have activities like pools, tennis courts, or excursions. There are as many styles of agriturismos as there is cheese in Italy, and there is a fantastic website to help you find the perfect one for you.

We fell in love with Agriturismo Vadonnino-Antico Borgo, which is about 1 hour from Parma and 1.5 from Milan, sitting high
up in the hills of Emilia Romagna. It’s owned and operated by Pia and Gianni (and their gorgeous dog Luna). Gianni told us that about 15 years ago they got tired of the stress of Milan and bought Vadonnino-Antico Borgo and started their new life. Their farm specializes in organic vegetables, lavender, and fruit trees. They reminded me a lot like New Yorkers get burned out on Wall Street and move to Vermont to make goat cheese candles and muppets.

The old stone home dates from the 17th century and has an amazing view down into the valley. You need to drive high up into the hills on windy roads that rival those in Tuscany or along the coast. In fact, at one point the directions say “at some point, when you think you are lost…” That’s exactly how you feel.

Pia and Gianni could not have been been more welcoming or kind, and their Bernese Mountain dog Luna is gentle and gorgeous. The apartments are both huge and cozy at the same time, a testament to a successful restoration.  There are so many lovely outside seating areas from which to gaze down upon the valley. If you want activity, you can swim in the pool, play tennis, borrow mountain bikes, or hike the trails. We took a day trip to Parma, but honestly could have spent all our time at the farm or the nearby small town. For a mountain-lover like me, it was the absolutely perfect place to unwind.

If you go, I highly recommend asking for their dinner — the beautiful view of the sun setting on the hills is reason alone. For 30 Euros you enjoy a tasty home-cooked, traditional meal (antipasti, primi pasta, main, and dessert) with local ingredients. I never had pizzoccheri, a buckwheat pasta (usually served with pesto) that is special to Emilia Romagna. It had an almost spongy consistency and was addictive. The lasagna had a creamy bechemel and ridiculously thin homemade pasta sheets, which Gianni told us was the secret — really, use fresh pasta sheets in your lasagna and everyone will think you studied under Mario Batali. And then the home-made ricotta cake was so good that Pia gave us seconds when she saw our faces looking longingly at our empty plates (my boyfriend never asks for seconds of a non-chocolate dessert!).

A liter of the house red wine is only 8 Euros and is a nice bold, medium-tannin red that went down (too) easily and perfectly paired with the rich food. We also got to sip some of the home-made liquor as our aperitif. Nocino is a liquor local to Emilia Romagna and made from unripe green walnuts – it’s absolutely delicious, and I’m not a huge fan of liquor! It was unlike any other liquor I’ve tried. Dinner was so good and so relaxing the first night that we cancelled a more fancy dinner in Parma  to have a second dinner at the agriturismo. After dinner, we laid on the grassy slope and watched the shooting stars above us. In the morning, definitely get breakfast — for 10 Euros you can sip great coffee and indulge in croissants, cake, and eggs and plan your day while gazing at the hills waking up from their slumber.

The nearest town is Borgo Val di Taro, which is home to a famous porcini mushroom festival in September. I absolutely fell in love with the town! It’s big enough to be livable, but small enough that you could actually get to know people and feel part of the community. We stopped by the little farmer’s market and got lovely cheese and raspberry jam.

We sucked into a local bar/gelateria/coffee shop in a neoclassical building and got probably the most delicious cappuccino and croissant we had during our visit, which was served by a boisterous, big, mustachioed Italian man who guessed we were Spanish (probably because we tried to speak in Italian and didn’t have on sneakers). When he said we owed 3 Euros, we understood what he said but looked so dumbfounded by how cheap it was that he held up 3 plump, worn fingers.

We wandered into a mushroom store (that is one smell you that will probably cling to your clothes if you stay longer than 5 minutes). Our visit ended at a local salumeria to procure cheese and meat for our lunch. The sweet women behind the counter patiently let us try to speak in Italian, and then even enthusiastically waved at me as I took a photo outside of their shop.

My new life plan is to move near Borgo Val di Taro, open a small agriturismo, be best friends with Pia and Gianni, have our dogs be best friends and run around our farms together, and invite others to visit with us to enjoy the amazing countryside and food of Emilia Romagna. It’s a perfect life plan.

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